I’ve been blogging for years. But, as I was reading over posts from years ago, I’ve realized how very much I have changed. Maybe it’s not so much that I’ve changed, but that life has changed me.
I lost my partner of 38 years to Covid19 in April of 2020. Life as I knew it ended, and at 68 I found myself starting over.
This new blog – this is what has come from the journey of these two years from April 2020, until now – January 2022.
This journey has been filled with tears and anger and sorrow and fear and regrets and wishes and dreams and what-ifs and should-haves and just who I am I now?
The Covid Pandemic was in its infancy when Susan passed in April of 2020. I sat alone in the home she and I shared surrounded by all of our things in a state of disbelief. I was numb and found myself sitting on the living room floor holding her urn unsure of anything and living on pancakes and ice cream.
It wasn’t pretty.
But – the journey has also been filled with old friends who were patient and stood strong and listened and loved and listened some more. They were most certainly my lifeline filling me with hope and courage and keeping me from losing my soul. And then came, and continue to come, new friends. People I never knew existed, but there they were – and there they are – with open hearts cheering me on.
Old friends and new friends – showing me the way out.
It is from all of these things, and all of these people – the good, the bad, the new, the old, those that stayed, those that left – it’s from all of this that we learn and grow and find the strength and courage to move on to what comes next.
Because – something always come next.
Thanks for being here.
Until Next Time
XOXO
Until Next Time 
When you think of it, as you have stated it here, your life was filled with another person who is physically no longer there. It was a pretty good hunk of your existence so far, the impact it had shaped you over time and immediately to the Barb you are now. When we think about who are our life influencers we can rank them in longevity and certainly in impact too. I didn’t know your partner as I know you, I only knew her through your eyes and your writing. How right she was to encourage you to write, and to share, above all to use that whole enchilada to give a real gift to other people. That is the gift of your art, your ideas and your own caring character. She is physically gone, but never far from you and never forgotten. In this place you are now, you will move forward, you will move on in your own way. This moving on is kind of unlimited and limited by many other components; but whatever the journey it is yours. It is great to be at an age when you can sit back and sum up and tell others about how far you have come and also to know that you are teaching along the way. I realized today that you are just a couple years older than myself and for whatever reason that made me think, recheck my goals and get on it. I am proud of all your efforts and how you continue to inspire.
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Thank you so much for all your love and support. ❤️
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