I was reminded this morning of just how hard the journey of grief can be.  It’s this never-ending rollercoaster ride that takes you from one end of your emotions to the other end in a matter of seconds.

I was sitting this morning with my coffee watching the curling competition at the 2022 Winter Olympics.  I enjoy curling. The strategy of it, the sound of the stone on the ice – I don’t know why – I just enjoy watching it.  As I was watching I remembered that the last time I was watching curling at the Olympics – I was watching with Susan.  She looked at me and said: “Honey, this is like watching paint dry.” 

The memory made me smile, and then it made me shed a few tears, and then it made me realize how very much I miss her.

This is how this journey of grief goes.  The memories are sweet, but the ache in my heart is always there lurking under the surface.

What I have come to understand is that life doesn’t always give us what we want.  However, it does always offer us a way to get what we need.  It’s the getting to know exactly what the things are that we need that brings us that fear of the unknown.

It’s easy to stay stuck. It may not be the right thing, but it’s comfortable, we know the rules, we know the game, we also know how it ends.

But – with Susan gone – the game changed, and I had no choice. I had to make changes.

Meeting new people, trying new things, adventuring out of my comfort zone, and exploring who I am and what is it I need and want for myself. It’s been scary, but rewarding in ways I never imagined.

Going through all this change doesn’t mean you forget; it means that you honor and cherish all that you had, and you take all that you’ve learned, and you make a life for yourself, whatever that may be.  

Try not to spend too much time on the could-have, should-have, would-have parts of your life. 

You can’t change anything that’s done.  It’s done. Let it be done.

I’ll leave you with my favorite Robert Frost quote:

     “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”

Until Next Time
XOXO