Month: November 2023

The Aloha Spirit

Some vacations are really no vacations at all. We go with expectations and find ourselves disappointed when we realize that where we went is really nothing at all like we wanted it to be. We wonder why we ever thought we should travel there, and nothing, absolutely nothing, is right about anything. The flight sucked, the hotel was simply wrong, the food involved things one would never order, the weather was too hot or too cold. It was raining or snowing or just dreary. 

I am pretty convinced now this disappointment had nothing to do with the destination – it was all about what we wanted, what we expected, what we thought we deserved. 

Such self-absorbed people we can be. 

Me, Me, Me… 

Last week I had a magical, mystical vacation on the Hawaiian Island of Oahu. I went with no expectation other than spending a week with my boy. What I came home with was a new lease on life. A new attitude.  A new resolve. 

This is what I learned from my boy, the magical, mystical Island, and the people who live there; 

  • It is not all about me.  
  • It is about forgiveness – for yourself and for others. 
  • Things do not matter.  
  • People matter.  
  • Love matters.  
  • Kindness matters. 
  • Compassion matters. 
  • Words matter 
  • Wherever you are in your life – celebrate it. 
  • Watch sunsets wherever you are – as often as you can and bring a picnic with you. 
  • Do the things that bring you joy. 
  • Be with people who value you. 
  • Slow down – it will all get done. 
  • Embrace the moments, even the smallest things are a gift. 
  • Do not settle. Ever. 
  • It is not on us to change people. We can accept them for who they are and love them where they are – or we can bless them and let them go. It is not for us to try and change them. 

Aloha is not just a word used for tourists. The Aloha Spirit is a real thing. It embraces peace, compassion, affection, and friendship. The people who live their lives in this Paradise have much to teach those of us who live here on the mainland.  

It is not perfect – no place is – but it is different, and its beauty is not just in the mountains or the stunning waters that surround it. The beauty lies in the people of all cultures who have made this island their home. It is not just white people who think they have some sort of power because of their whiteness – it was all colors sitting on the beach celebrating the setting of the sun. 

This adventure renewed me in ways I did not know I needed to be renewed. My boy knew, and the Island of Oahu knew. 

For all their love… 

I am forever grateful 

Until next time 

XOXO 

Change…

Change.

I don’t like change.

I don’t like the not knowing part of change.

Yes, I know life is all about change, and that change is good, and everything is constantly changing

Still…

I don’t like change.

And yet – Ever since I stepped into this Hawaiian air – I could feel change.

I know I’m here to learn something.

To feel something.

To release something.

To take responsibility for something.

To hear something.

To accept something.

To receive something.

To trust something.

To believe something.

To welcome something.

To begin something.

To be something.

Until next time…

XOXO

It’s On Me…

Vacations are not always about having fun. Sometimes along with the fun, we find ourselves dealing with things we have purposely placed in the back of our mind and heart because the pain of dealing with any of it is too much to bear.

This is one of those vacations for me.

The shores of the Hawaiian Island of Oahu seemed to know I was coming, and was prepared to show me beauty, the likes of which I have never seen, but the price for all of that splendor, was me breaking down in tears.  It was in those moments of vulnerability, I knew I was here, on this Island, to have my come to Jesus moments with things I have been carrying with me for 3.5 years.

It was terrifying and exciting at the same time.  

I won’t share the depths of my baggage, because it’s mine – but I will speak of the importance of dealing with grief and heartbreak and betrayal and not allowing it to weigh you down and prevent you from living the life you have to live.

We don’t all get a happy ending. Sometimes things just end. What I now understand is that it’s not about the ending – it’s about how I pick up my pieces and carry on. Is it how I envisioned my life to be? No – it is not. But – it is the life I now have.

I thought I was doing good, and in some respects I know I am. But there are so many tentacles to grief. So many facets that if placed aside, they only fester and grow.

These shores and mist covered mountains of Oahu have touched a part of me that’s been stuck.  A part of me I haven’t had the courage to face.

Until now.

I have spent too much time feeling guilty for things over which I had no control. These things that weighed me down and kept me stuck in a life of regrets in what I perceived as broken promises.

I have placed my anger on others and expected that to anger to outweigh my guilt.

Yeah, that’s not how it works. That’s what has kept me weighed down and broken inside.

The truth is this:

 it’s on me to let the guilt go.

It’s on me to set my heart straight.

It’s on me to forgive myself.

It’s on me to focus on the things that I am responsible for changing.

It’s on me.

It’s all on me.

 

Mahalo, Oahu.

Until Next Time…